Mental Health and Trauma Blog | Noisy
When you think of the word progress what do you imagine? (take your time). Now what do you think when the word is in relation to mental health?
For me I imagine progressively making positive changes to have more good days and less bad days. Being able to ask for help when needed and knowing that getting help from others is helping myself, and results in progress.
With that in mind let's look at my past and present situation and be honest when you ask yourself if I've made progress. I used to be in therapy, I was from a child up until a couple of years ago. I was also on medication from the age of eighteen up until a couple of years ago. I left therapy and stopped taking medication, I was able to understand my triggers, notice when my mental health was in decline, and I knew what to do to pick myself back up when needed. So far so good?
But two weeks ago I was put back on medication, and I'm going back into therapy.
Am I still making progress?
If you asked me that question two years ago I'd have said no I'm going backwards. I wouldn't blame you for thinking the same, but I'm not and here's why.
- A month a so ago I listened to my body and my mind, I noticed something wasn't right.
- I told Jango about it, I shared my concern.
- I told my doctor that something wasn't right with me, that was me taking positive action.
- I realised I wasn't okay when my resting heart rate would sit at 100-120bpm and I was having panic attacks, something I hadn't had since a teen.
- When I was struggling I asked for help, and I was kind to myself on the bad days.
- When my doctor recommended I go back on medication and back into therapy, I thought about it, I talked it through, and I agreed. I knew it was something I needed to help myself get better.
Two years ago when I came out of therapy and stopped my medication I'd have seen the above as a negative. I'd have felt that taking medication again and having to go through difficult therapy was a backwards step. That's bullshit. It's not a backwards step it's a new chapter. I am in a new chapter of my life, a vastly different, happy chapter of my life. I'm adjusting, but with that comes all the unprocessed trauma from the depths of my subconscious.
I'm not taking backwards steps; I've made enough progress to know these changes are positive changes. Asking for help when needed and accepting it when given shows growth, it's helping to avoid a potentially dangerous outcome if it was ignored. I'm proud that I asked for help, and I'm even prouder that I accepted it. Those two things aren't easy, and in situations like this it's hard to have a positive mindset. Recognising something isn't quite right and doing something about it is only ever a good thing, it's progress. It may not always feel that way, but you need to trust the progress.
This is the fight of your life.
- Noisy
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