Mental Health and Trauma Blog | Noisy
I've come a long way in the past few years. I'm three years clean of a brutal fifteen-year addiction to drugs, and I walked away from a life of crime. I now use my story to encourage others to do the same, and to show the world that people can change for the better. But shit sticks. This is an article from the Daily Mail I saw on Twitter today which is what influenced this blog post (yes, I know we shouldn't listen to what the Daily Mail has to say).
I saw this article after a few friends of mine had retweeted it, so I opened it and read through it (it's a painful read). I thought to myself what was the point of this article? Let's be honest we know why they published it, to cause divide and stir up shit. When I walked away from my old life the hardest part for me (and for many others like me) was getting a job. I didn't care what the job was, I didn't care how little it paid, all I needed was an income, but I couldn't get one. I tried being open and honest about my past, explaining how I wanted to turn my life around and how much I needed the job, and as a result the door was slammed in my face. At times I changed tactics and completely left out my past but again, I was turned away because I had no previous work experience or references to give them. I can understand why employers may be apprehensive (depending on the previous criminal record) but what chance do we have when nobody is willing to give us the time of day? How can we prove ourselves when all opportunities are taken from us? Time after time I nearly went back into my old life because society didn't want to give me a chance to prove to them, and more importantly to myself, that I was reformed. What was the point of all the rejection? Why was I humiliating myself, being looked down on and spoken down to by these employers when I could just go back into my old life and make double their daily wage in a couple of hours? Shit sticks I guess. A lot of my family (and by family I mean the blood kind) disowned me because of my past, many forgave me but will never forget, and a few stood by me. I was lucky that the few that did stand shoulder to shoulder with me wanted me to do well. They saw in me what I believed about myself, and they helped me start my own businesses. It wasn't easy, it still isn't now, but I'd take working long hours for very little pay, drowning in paperwork and being stressed that I won't make enough money every month over going back to my old life. I don't ever want to go back there, it's not me anymore. I was relieved to read all the positive comments from people regarding this article from the Daily Mail. Many with the same open mindset, willing to give us a chance. I've received many positive messages and comments today on Twitter and I want to use this blog post to say thank you. It isn't patronising, it's encouraging. I read through those messages with a smile on my face, a tear in my eye, and a heart full of pride. You remind me that I am doing the right thing. That the stress and long hours are worth it. You believe in me and many others like me and that makes all the difference. It makes us think twice when we contemplate what we are doing. We can't prove ourselves if all opportunities to do so are taken away. So yes, shit does stick, but today has shown me that there are many great people out there that don't care about my past. They know what I've done but they see me for the person I am now, not the person I was. A little reminder that those encouraging words you may think twice about sending to someone do make all the difference, so don't hesitate. Spread that positivity because it may just be the little push someone needs to keep fighting on through the hard times and make a difference in this world. That's all I'm trying to do. I don't excuse me past behaviour, I use it to teach others, to help others. If we can't help each other then what's the point?
This is the fight of your life. - Noisy If you find my blog posts helpful and want to support me in what I do, you can do so here. Thank you! - buymeacoffee.com/noisyglamour