Mental Health and Trauma Blog | Noisy
It's easy to see why many feel under pressure as the new year begins. Social media is a wave of people convincing themselves they'll change and do things differently because another 365 days has passed. Influencers (I hate the term) sharing their goals and encouraging you to follow their lead in being a better version of yourself.
I'm all for being the best you, I'm all for growing as a person and learning from past life experiences. But the pressure that people put on themselves at the beginning of every new year is unnecessary. If you really wanted to change something about yourself you wouldn't wait until January 1st to do it, you'd act and do it straight away. It has the same vibe as when people say next week they'll go on a diet. It's usually a Friday they say this, as they're about to binge eat for the weekend. If they were serious about it, they'd start on the day they made the decision they wanted to change.
The title of this post may be a little misleading, although I don't jump on the new year resolution bandwagon, I do change and grow as a person. I learn from past lessons life has thrown my way, and I try my hardest to be the best version of myself. But the difference between me, and what people do on January 1st is I do this every day. It's a constantly evolving goal I work hard at to achieve. I want it, so I work at it in the here and now. As I grow and the years pass my goals change, as do I. But I don't delay putting the work in.
In my opinion, new year resolutions set you up for failure. Usually you'll be honest and open, posting on social media what your resolutions are, in black and white for everyone to see. You'll tell your family and friends about your goals and express how determined you are to achieve them. Are you determined? Or are you under pressure by what seems like the trendy thing to do? Granted you might stick it out for a few weeks, maybe even a bit longer. But most people will fall, usually at the first hurdle. They won't pick themselves up, they won't try again, they'll just quit. They quit with the comfort of knowing that January 1st will soon come around again. Let's break down how ridiculous that mindset is.
Firstly, you're not guaranteed tomorrow, let alone another year. So instead of waiting for another opportunity to reach your goals, just start them now. Secondly hurdles are there to fall over, life would be too easy if we could just step over them. Falling over isn't the problem, it's the fact you don't pick yourself up and try again. You refuse to throw yourself over the hurdle knowing full well you'll be battered and bruised when you make it to the other side, but not giving a single fuck. Instead you fall at the first hurdle, stand up, turn your back, and walk away. And you can walk away because of that false sense of security that another January 1st will soon come around and you can try again then. It's bullshit.
Instead of that, grab a pen and a piece of paper, and write down your goals. Do it right now. Don't air them on social media, don't scream at the world how determined you are, and how this time it'll be different. Instead stay quiet and hold yourself accountable. Write down your goals, put them somewhere safe but read them every day to remind yourself what you're aiming for. If it helps, underneath write the reasons why you're setting out to achieve these goals. Don't look for inspiration, don't hold onto hope, hold yourself accountable and be disciplined enough to stick to your plan. Watch how quickly, and easily, you achieve what you set out to. The future you will be grateful you've put in the work.
You don't need validation from the rest of the world to do something. Encouragement is great, we all could use that from time to time. But when you post a goal on social media and anxiously stare at your screen waiting for the likes and comments to roll in that's when you know you're in it for the wrong reasons.
For those who are quietly working on themselves, keep at it. Don't be pressured by what you see on social media. Don't compare your own progress to the progress that others are making. Those people who seem to have it all together usually don't. Those who are achieving their goals with little to no effort, aren't. Those who brag only of their progress and not of the difficulty they faced getting there aren't the kind of people you need to surround yourself with and look to for support and inspiration.
Please remember, growing as a person is difficult, but it's worth the effort. Falling isn't failing if you pick yourself up and keep trying. Don't compare your progress to others, you didn't start at the same point, your goals and hurdles differ greatly, focus on your own goals and achievements.
This is the fight of your life.
- Noisy
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